


Crimson Crimes

by AnneKatherine



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Ass-Kicking, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Complete, Drinking, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Female Tony, Female Tony Stark, Gender or Sex Swap, Genius Tony Stark, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Statutory Rape, Teen Pregnancy, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, Underage Drinking, Unplanned Pregnancy, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 04:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14908637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneKatherine/pseuds/AnneKatherine
Summary: Antoinette is tough, tough as nails in fact. She wasn't born this way, she was made this way. She did what she had to survive she left behind what she had too, but of all the emotions she managed to oppress, regret isn't one of them. But is letting her mask falter a crime?





	1. Define Insanity

**Author's Note:**

> So I bled for this fic. Bled. It's 13 chapters and I've written all of them, I'm gonna post a new one every day. For reference Toni's born in 1986, this one takes place in 1989 and every chapter jumps two years. She's very very advanced for her age, talks and does advanced math very early because both her parents were genius'. I didn't edit this a ton because I' also writing a research paper right now but PLEASE tell me if you find anything, I'd be happy to fix it.
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

The kids on the playground were cruel. That is the first lesson Antoinette ever learned at school. Other children might have learned their colors, or days of the week, but they didn’t start Kindergarten two years ahead, and they didn’t wait until May to join the class. She’s had to wait till May, because the school refused to have a two year old enrolled in preschool, and her birthday was very unfortunately late in the year. So maybe if she had started school with everyone else, she’d have some friends by now, because she wasn’t necessarily smaller than the other kids, and she certainly wasn’t stupider, she was just different, like a variable thrown in at the last minute. So Antoinette could understand why the kids didn’t really talk to her, or let her play, but she still didn’t appreciate it.

Everyday when school let out for break, she walked over to the girls in a large group playing some combination or tag and fairies or horses. They turn her away politely, maybe because they didn’t want to hurt her feelings, maybe because they didn’t want to attract attention.

Then she’d slowly walk towards the boys on the basketball court, they played with a much smaller net, because they were very short, but Antoinette could definitely join in. Well, she could join in if when she asked to play they didn’t sneer at her, even calling to the teacher and accusing her of bothering them.

The teacher usually took their side, because they had more numbers, and asked Antoinette to sit with her for the rest of recess. She didn’t mind really, because it was more fun than sitting alone, but the taunts they sent her on the way back to the classroom when the teacher wasn’t looking, made her blood boil. Antoinette didn’t really know why she followed this routine, the definition of insanity was repeating the same action over and over and expecting a different result, so maybe she was insane. They never relented, they never let her play, they never even considered taking pity on her. But she continued her path every recess. 

Today was a nice day, the teacher let the out early since school would be ending soon, and it was so pretty outside, and it was hot inside. As she got out, she walked towards the large mass of girls gathering on the grass, they were deciding what to play that afternoon, fairies or horses, just like every other day.

Some girls saw Antoinette coming, and tapped their friends or rolled their eyes, when she asked, “Can I play?”

“Oh I’m sorry Antoinette, we already have too many people.” a girl she thought was named Holly said sweetly, but superficially, barely even turning around to look at her.

But Antoinette turned around unfazed, even comforted in her routine of rejection, because at least she could count on it.  
The boys didn’t see her coming, they were busy already throwing the ball back and forth, making fake slam dunks despite the fact their feet never left the ground. 

“Can I play?” She asked quietly, and all the boys turn to her, in the beginning they looked at her in disbelief, now they were just annoyed.

“No, Antoinette, you can’t, you can never play with us!” The boy closest to her said, and it took Antoinette by surprise, usually they just made fun of her, saying she’s be bad at basketball, or she was a girl so she couldn’t play, or that because she was wearing a dress. 

“Can I try to make a shot?” she said just as quietly, she had nothing to lose.  
“Fine but if you miss, you have to stop bothering us forever!”

There were only a few more days left of school, no more than two weeks tops, so Antoinette took the ball bravely, and suddenly the hoop looked a whole lot taller. She steadied her breathing, and ignored the crowd growing around her, girls came over from the grass to see what the commotion was, and kids who played elsewhere joined in, probably to watch Antoinette fail. She closed her eyes, and picture her position to the hoop, it was only feet away, four feet. It was five inches tall, and she was four and a half inches tall. She guessed the weight of the basketball, and how hard the wind was blowing that day, she calculated the pressure she’d need to apply for the ball to travel three feet upwards, the drop on the last foot. She needed to do this as fast as possible before they whipped the ball out of her hands and laughed her off the property. Her mind raced, and span because she was not used to this uncertainty, this time yesterday she was sitting quietly with the teacher and now she was shooting basketballs in front of her whole class.

“Any day now.” One boy remarked, she felt the crowds impatience.

Her eyes shot open, she knew how far to push, and where to throw, she’d made precise calculations and it ensured accuracy and success. When she threw the ball forward her breath hitched with the crowd of children, she involuntarily closed her eyes and opened only in time to see it swoosh into the ring, no rim, only net.

The crowd of kids around her didn’t cheer, or even react much, maybe due to disappointment or maybe shock. Everyone was silent, or almost everyone, one girl directly behind her whispered particularly loudly to her friend, “Well she’s still a freak.”

Antoinette spun around, and came face to face with Holly. She was surprised she’d been heard, but held her ground pretending to have not said anything, “What?” Holly sneered for the first time that Antoinette had seen, but she had no idea how many times she’d done it behind her back. 

“Don’t you even fucking shut up?” Antoinette said, not quietly at all, inciting a gasp from the surrounding kids, shocking Holly and her friend into silence, but not for long, “Listen you little-” Holly started, and Antoinette, without realizing it and later regretting it deeply, because it wasn’t a good choice and is never the answer, punched Holly right in the nose.

The teacher soon joined them, and asked what was going on, and Antoinette didn’t argue when they said she’d stolen their ball and punched Holly in the nose unprovoked, because with a crowd of fake witnesses she didn’t stand a chance. The teacher was surprised to say the least, she’s always known Antoinette was anti-social but never violent. She had someone help Holly to the nurse and took Antoinette to the principal's office, where she was quickly expelled. 

No one can pick her up, not even her nanny, so a teacher's assistant drives her, she doesn’t live far. They don’t say anything to her in the car, the silently drop her off, and walk her to the door, a maid answers and she walks in, the assistant is gone by the time she turns around. Mother already knew she’d been expelled, so she stood in the archway waiting. Mother didn’t come around, so Antoinette walked over to the wing were Mother and Father slept. The hall was long and there were identical doors on either side, one went to Mothers room, and the other went to Father's, she walked slowly and quietly as to not bother Father side and was about to knock on the door when Father’s door swung open. Her nanny, Francesca stood in the doorway, retying the belt of her wrap dress. “Antoinette!” she exclaimed, almost nervously, “What are you doing kiddo?”

“I was looking for my mom.” She said quietly

“Let’s not bother her right now, it’s pretty out, let’s go outside.” Francesca held her hand out to Antoinette and she stared at it for a moment, before taking it and walking to the back of the house with her.

Francesca was Antoinette’s only friend, she spoke fluent spanish and italian, an she taught Antoinette how to speak them too. She was beautiful, and young, despite the fact she’s been watching Antoinette for as long as she can remember. They sit on a hill nearby the house, and lay on the grass as the clouds pass by, Francesca points out what kind of clouds they are, and once in awhile she can see a star peaking out in the sky early, “They can’t wait for night to fall so they shine just a little during the day.”

Antoinette knew she was wrong, stars shine all day, but the glare of the sun hitting earth is much stronger and blocks out the meniscus light the stars put out, but she never corrects Francesca. 

They move to the courtyard, and Francesca grabs some paper and pencils, and they sit at a table and draw, Francesca draws the hill they sat on, and the clouds, and the stars peeking out from the sky, and the house in the background. She adds in herself, and Antoinette another figure next to them.

“Who’s that?” Antoinette asks, 

“Your daddy.” She replies smiling

“Where’s my mother?”

Quickly Francesa scribbles in another figure by the house, Antoinette returns to her own drawing and notices Francesa shades the house to look dark and scary before asking, “What are you drawing Antoinette?”

“Nitrogen.” She replies looking up for a second before returning to the drawing, “Why nitrogen?”

“It’s my favorite chemical element right now.”

“Why?”

“I identify with it. Fritz Haber made two world changing inventions using nitrogen. Fertilizer, which ended up saving tons of people from starving, but he also started chemical warfare for the Germans in world war one.”

Francesca smiled, “You know a lot about world wars, don’t you?”

Antoinette nodded, “Yes. My father fought in one, he create a world changing invention too.”

Francesca nodded, smiling to herself, “Yes, yes he did.”

“At least pretend you have a sliver of self respect Francesca.” Antoinette turned to see her mother standing in a doorway nearby, she looked mad, maybe at Antoinette for being expelled. 

But Mother wasn't glaring at Antoinette, she was glaring at Francesca, who was glaring right back.

“Antoinette, it’s time for supper, come along.” She held out her hand, and Antoinette stared at it for a moment, looked to Francesca, and went with her mother to the dining room table.

Francesca was not invited to dinner ever, Antoinette didn’t know where she ate. She wished Francesca was here because Father was sick or something, sick and angry, he moved slowly and talked mostly gibberish, but still managed to cuss out Mother.

Mother ignores him, “Antoinette, would you please tell your father what happened today.”

Antoinette gulped, “I was expelled.”

Father’s eyebrow raised slightly, “What’d you do?”

“I punched a girl. In the nose.”

“Why?”  
“She called me a freak.”

“Why?”

“I asked the boys to play ball. They said no, so I asked for one chance to make a shot.”

“Did you make it?”

“Yes.”

“And she called you a freak.”

“Yes.”

“So you punched her?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Antoinette and Maria blinked in surprise, “Punch anyone who gets in your way, because they’ll sure as hell punch you if you let them.”

“Howard-” Mother started

“Just shut up Maria. I don’t need this right now.”

“Yeah? And what do you need? Your little slut?”

“Don’t fucking try me!”

“You know if you keep paying her, I could get her arrested for prostitution!”

“Fucking hell Maria! Don’t be such a bitch!” Howard stood up from the table suddenly shaking the glasses and plates and stormed off towards his room. 

Servants clean up dinner quickly after that, Mother stayed at the table, Antoinette did too, she hadn’t been excused yet.

The table was clear, and they still sat there, for minutes before Mother stood up and started walking towards her room, Antoinette followed.

They reached the long corridor, and Father’s door was opened slightly, but Mother ignored this, so Antoinette did too. Mother walked into her room and went to close the door when she noticed Antoinette standing there.  
“What?” Mother said

“You said yesterday that you’d tuck me in.”

“Why don’t you ask Francesca to tuck you in, she’d probably be just delighted to.” Mother slammed the door and Antoinette jumped back. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Father and Francesca in his room, on top of each other, kissing.

This wasn’t a logical scenario, because Father and Mother were married, and marriage bonds you only to kiss your husband or wife. Antoinette knew this because Francesca told her, so why was Francesca breaking her own rule?

She walked down the corridor alone and confused as to what she’d seen. She got herself into bed, and stared at the ceiling frustrated because she didn’t have any answers.


	2. Inquiring Minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ILY Jarvis RIP Francesca
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

Annie moved up a grade again, and changed her name. Antoinette was too long, and since all sorts of things were changing, she figured she ought to change with them. Francesca was fired in the middle of the night and but she did not go quietly. As she walked down the hallway in shame, Mother watching her, Father already left the scene, never one to clean up his messes, Annie caught her eye, she was supposed to be asleep but the commotion woke her up. Francesca’s face broke into a cry,

“Antoinette! Please! Tell your daddy you like me better! I can be your mommy, tell him you love me more!” She pleaded, dropping to her knees in front of the then five year old. Annie’s face never betrayed her, and Mother’s watchful gaze never shifted. 

“I don’t want a slut for a mother.” She said, breaking Francesca and her own heart with one sentence. Maria’s head shifted upward with approval, she’d done the right thing in her book, and she spun on her heel considering Francesca secure, now no one in the house wanted her here. Annie copied her actions, turning towards her bedroom and wishing Francesca’s sobs would fade away quicker. She knew no matter what she said, Francesca would be leaving. She couldn’t afford to be taken down with her. But she’d loved her, with her whole heart and she mourned the death of their friendship.

Jarvis replaced Francesca, Maria hired him, not Father. Annie saw a pattern, whenever Father hired someone, they were young and female and left rather quickly, with the exception of Francesca, but whenever Maria hired someone, they were older, not exclusively male but might as well have been, and they always died before Maria or Father could fire them, with the exception of Jarvis.

He wasn’t just a nanny, but a butler and an impromptu personal stylist. He earned that title two hours before Annie’s first red carpet appearance, some award show. Father was friends with a actress up for an award, when her official personal stylist not only got her size wrong but apparently her age, the now six year old would not fit into the bright pink tutu built for a three or four year old, not that she’d wear it anyways. Jarvis, always to the rescue, returned from Annie’s large closet with a crimson dress that had never been worn and was forgotten in the back. It was fancy enough, so she changed quickly, record time in fact, and even though the rest of the carpet was a blur that she couldn’t recall if she tried, which was very rare for her, she had a photographic memory, she kept the dress, and she liked the color.

The grade school she was at was private, just like all the other schools she’d been to. It had itchy, ugly uniforms and strict teachers, Annie personally thought they should unionize to get better pay, more flexible hours, and benefits but no one listened. The girls there were much nicer than previous schools, Annie figured their awareness of her family, and fortune might have something to do with that but they all came from fairly wealthy families so she gave them the benefit of the doubt. She actually had a group of people she hung out with, well hung out with is a strong word, she sat with them class, and lunch and mostly agreed with whatever they said and didn’t say anything. 

The day after the award show, Annie walked into school just as usual, and sat nearby them, they seemed to be talking normally about some boy in their class, and how hot he was, and when Annie agreed passively not even sure with boy they were talking about, Eryn, the unofficial leader of the group said, 

“Annie! I saw you at the Oscars on TV last night!” the other girls nodded enthusiastically, some more than others.

Annie gulped, she’d not been prepared to answer any questions, she didn’t even think they’d care.

“Yeah.”

“How was it? Did you meet anyone famous?” Another girl, Tamara maybe, said

“I don’t remember much of it honestly, I barely got out the door, my butler had to find me a dress.”

“Well that explains it.” another girl sitting farther away remarked under her breath, but Annie's come a long way since punching Holly in the face, she just ignored the girl. But apparently she wasn’t trying to ignored because after other girls asked more question, she butted it, “So why’d you go anyways? You weren’t even invited.”

Annie gulped, the other girls were looking at her, none jumped to her defense, “Well, my dad was friends with one of the nominee’s I think-”

“Which one?”

“She was in Silence of the Lambs?”

“Jodie Foster? You met Jodie Foster! She just won an Oscar!” Eryn said, “Did you get to meet her? Did you go to the after parties?”

“I met her, she was really nice, she and Father went somewhere after but I had to go home and Maria- I mean my mom had a migraine.”

The bell rung, saving Annie from having to answer anymore questions, and they seemed to move on after that with some swaying from the girl in the back who seemed to hate Annie for some reason. 

That day she went home, Jarvis was cleaning, Maria was in Turks and Caicos on a post awards season vacation and Father was in the basement working. So Annie turned on the TV and went to one of the channels that spent a week after the awards shows talking about what happened. They usually bored her, but she need to be prepared if anyone brought it up again.

She sat through twenty minutes of the examining celebrities dresses, before they came to Jodie Foster, apparently accompanied by Howard Stark.

“Hey there,” one of the two newscasters sitting at a large white desk said, he was stocky but handsome and his grin never seemed to fade, his partner at the desk was a woman, just as pretty but her smile seemed genuine,

“I’m Jason Leonards and this is Carly Vespice and we’ve gone through almost every look to grace the 1992 Oscar’s carpet last night, except maybe the most controversial. Jodie Foster, won for Best Actress last night, her fourth nomination and second win. She wore a pale pink suit with a little red ribbon, but we aren’t here to talk about what she wore on her, we’re talking about who she wore with her!”

“Jason!” Carly exclaimed giving him a playful tap, she shook her head, “but it’s true, multi-billionaire accompanied the actress to the show, and the the party afterwards, despite the fact his wife Maria and young daughter were also there.”

“Oohhh,” Jason exclaimed, “It’s not even that he went with another woman while his wife was there! It’s why was his wife there! She’s not an actress, and she brought their daughter a literal child who wore a flaming red potato sack! Like who is making these decisions?”

Carly hit Jason again but her grin stuck too, and Annie couldn’t hear much of what they were saying anymore.

Just clips like, “Little Annie Stark! Are we supposed to believe she’s going to inherit that company?”

“The fire cone outside pulls off red better than she did.” 

“Next time try and stretch your wallet a little more and spring for a babysitter, jesus christ. Or maybe just a stylist, if I didn’t know any better the just put gave her a big piece of cloth made her color and stitch it herself.”

Annie didn’t cry often, but that afternoon she cried for a long time before Jarvis found her sitting in front of the TV, the program had long since ended and it was now a random reality show but Annie just sat in front of it sobbing.

“Annie? Annie? What’s wrong?”

She looked to Jarvis with tear stains down her cheeks, and spot of wet all down her shirt, “Jarvis! I can’t do it!”

“Can’t do what Annie?”

“I don’t want to go to anymore award shows, they’ll just make fun of me!” Her voice cracked every other word but she choked out her concerns,

“Annie honey, who made fun of you?”

“Everyone! The girl at school, the freaking MTV host, probably more. They said I was wearing a flaming red potato sack.”

“Antoinette Stark. You look at me.” She lifted her hands off her face and looked Jarvis in the eyes, he only said her full name when she was in trouble, but he didn’t look angry.

“You are so smart and I know you know that, I know you think because you’re light years ahead of these kids mathematically or scientifically you can never be friends with them or you can never socially interact but it’s just not true. You have your parents' personalities too, not just their brains. Your dad’s wit, your moms charisma, just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean you should ever, ever let them define you.”

“Stark’s are made of iron.” She said

“No. Maybe your dad is, but you are not. You’re made of diamond, tough but beautiful rare but dangerous. A promise, you’re a promise but you decided what that promise is.”

Annie walked into school that day normally as she did every other day, but when she got to the classroom she beelined for the girl in the back’s desk, “What’s your name?”

She stood up surprised at first but then her face settled into a grimace, “Evelyn.”

“Ok Evelyn, what’s your problem with me?”

Evelyn might have started to deny any problem but quickly decided against it, “I think you’re a stuck up little brat who doesn’t deserve a thing she has.”

The words shock Annie, she considered her own words before speaking, “Because I’m rich? Because I went to the Oscars?”

“Yeah, because you don’t do anything any yet you have everything. Everyone says your this genius like your father, but I think it’s all a ruse so that they can make your inherit the company when your daddy gets tired or runs off with some bitch.”  
Annie blinks, not having seen this coming, unfortunately some part of this was true, she fully expected Father to run away, so she paused. “Just because your are a pathetic nobody doesn’t mean you get to hate me. I memorized the quadratic formula for fun, I can speak three languages plus english, I can do math science and much more in circle around you, the school district said I can’t be pushed up anymore grades to make sure I have some semblance of a childhood. But the thing is I don’t have to prove a goddamn thing to you because you’re right, in fifteen years I’ll be in charge of the largest tech company in America and you be just as sad and pathetic as you are right now.” 

Evelyn face was foaming, she looked like she might start crying, when suddenly it changed, she Annie turned around to see the teacher standing behind her, and she was angry.

Annie probably could have stayed at the school if Maria wasn’t in Turks and Caicos and could be reached, if Father cared at all, or if Annie agreed to apologize, but she was, he didn’t, and she wouldn’t. So she changed schools within the month tried to forget about Evelyn.

The next award show she went to was much smoother, she was seven now, and the stylist had approved outfits beforehand, Ann preferred red specifically, and that's what she wore. She kept her bearing this time and snuck away from Maria towards the reporters, “Ann! Ann! Can we talk to you for a second?”

She obliged, telling them who she was wearing, and how much fun she was having maybe exaggerating a little.

The lady reporter she talked to asked pretty demure questions, and she probably figured it’d been a cutesy but boring interview when she asked, “Do you have any comments for people watching at home?”

“Yes I do. I’d like to tell Jason Leonards that I happen to love the color red, and I was wondering if now that he’s crossed off criticizing a six year olds wardrobe choices he feels better about himself. Inquiring minds want to know.”


	3. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We don't deserve Lucie
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

Ann is assured the plan was to send her to boarding school after elementary school anyways, but she’s thinks it had more to do with getting kicked out of school after school, they’d probably run out of private schools, and god forbid Antoinette Stark goes to public school. 

So she arrives at the school along with everyone else, and due to the weird look of ‘tweens’ no one seems to notice she’s nearly three years younger than everybody else. She hasn’t been moved up a grade since she started third grade at age six and now she’s nine, and starting sixth grade. 

Her room is empty, but she has a roommate, Lucette Steele ironically the daughter of another tech company CEO, she can’t help but wonder if someone did this on purpose. Lucette is a week late for some reason, so she ventures out into the hallway, which is bustling with parents moving their kids into their rooms. Her parents wished her luck from the dining room this morning, and then Jarvis drove her to the train, he looked regretful and told her he wished he could come help move her in but her father need work done. Jarvis lost the role of nanny when Ann turned nine. Apparently she no longer needed one.

“Your parents not here either?” Ann turned around a girl with short black hair was behind her.

“Nope.”

“Mine couldn’t miss work. I’m Sasha.” She held out her hand and Ann shook it without a word, “Are you going to tell me yours?”

“Oh, yeah!” She exclaimed, and then something Ann would never be able to place possessed her, she stuttered for words before spitting out, “I’m Toni.”

“Ok Toni. Come to my room, my roommate Vanessa’s parents just left and she has a killer radio.”

She followed Sasha two doors down, where a girl with a crown braid sat on a bed bobbing her head to music.

“Hey Vanessa, this is Toni.” Vanessa nodded towards her before saying, “Call me Van, my parents hate when I say that but Vanessa is so stuffy.”

Sasha laughed, “Speaking of stuffy, did you hear who’s attending this year?”

Van shook her head, “No who?”

“Antoinette Stark, Lucette Steele and like two other heiresses.”

Toni’s mouth went completely dry, was this a trap? Was she lured here to be laughed at then kicked out to her boring dull room.  
“No freaking way! I bet you can’t wait to share a bathroom with those prissy bitches.”

Sasha sat down on her bed, “Right? Those kinda girls just enroll here last minute, meanwhile I’ve been working in a scholarship to go here since first grade!” Sasha motioned for Toni to sit next to her.

“You ever seen Lucette Steele on TV?”

“No.”

“Well she might as well have a gold spoon up her ass, and a diamond crown in her head.”

“Stark’s no better. You know that shit she said about that reporter, he got fired! He was just doing his job, not his fault she couldn’t take a joke.”

A heavy weight settled in Toni’s stomach, and she silent listened to her new friends theorize about how awful the next three years would be if they had to talk to or even look at Lucette Steele or Antoinette Stark for hours.

“What kind of name is Antoinette? I mean there is just not a good shortening to it.”

The door cracked open and an eighth grader told them it’s lights out soon, and they need to return to their beds. Toni said good night and wandered to her room.

She’d arrived at the school late that afternoon, around five, and when she left Sasha and Van’s room at eight she dreaded the reaction to her real identity, let alone the next three years she’d have to spend with them.

But the didn’t find out, not at first, they talked to her and they hardly bitched about Lucette or her, so she often engaged in conversation and for the first time she had friends. Sasha is her favorite, because she doesn’t filter herself and she doesn’t try hard. The often sit in Toni’s room because she has no roommate.

“Why don’t you have a roommate?” Sasha asks one day

“She’s late, she was supposed to be here a couple days ago but...I don’t know.”

“Y’know I heard Lucette Steele is getting here today.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, probably pulled in by a horse drawn carriage.”

“Yeah probably. Maybe you should go it’s getting kind of late.” She looks at the clock, if Lucette is coming today, she’ll be here before lights out, and it’s almost eight.

“I was gonna wait until Steele shows up, then I can get a good look at her and I’ll have a good excuse to be in the hallways.”

Toni nods nervously, the clock is ticking away and it’s almost eight when the door swings open, surprising Toni and Sasha, but Sasha more.

The girl is carrying a couple bags and a few more are behind her, She’s out of breath when she says, “Hi! I’m Lucette, which one of you is Antoinette?”

“Antoinette Stark?” Sasha asks incredulously, 

“Yes Antoinette Stark, she’s my roomate.”

Sasha turned towards Toni, making the connection, “Figures they’d pair the rich snobs together.”

She stormed out of the room knocking over one of Lucette’s suitcases. Lucette just stared at her in confusion, “What’s her deal?”

Toni groaned and rolled over, ignoring Lucette for the rest of the night. It wouldn’t be long till Sasha told Van, and everyone else who Toni was. Everyone was going to hate her again.

Toni wishes she’d been wrong. She wishes Sasha could have looked over the two weeks they spent together, and realized their friendship isn't superficial and over looked her family history.

But she didn’t, she sneered at Toni in the hallways and called her everything but Toni, Annie Anna, Netti, Antoinette. Every name had a sting to it.

Lucette didn’t know what she was walking into, she didn’t know Sasha had rallied the whole grade to be anti rich girl, and she hadn’t been able to get a fake name and live a fake life for two weeks. Toni almost felt bad for her. She would have if she hadn’t blown her cover.

Only a few weeks after she was outed, Toni was walking down the hallway, she spotted Sasha and Lucette talking near the staircase and moved closer to hear what they were saying.

“What? Got a problem with the truth? Daddy can’t buy you any friends here?”

“Just shut up Sasha, I didn’t do anything to you.”

“Yeah you don’t do anything! I worked to get here I didn’t sit on my ass and have things handed to me! You’ll learn what it’s like to struggle real soon.” Sasha reached forward and pushed Lucette, who at the last second grabbed the railing and only fell on her butt.

“Next time it’ll be even more of a tumble.”

Toni was fuming, she didn’t particularly like Lucette but that was just psychotic. She stormed the staircase, helping Lucette up before turning to Sasha, “Listen you low rent whore, just because your life is shitty doesn’t mean you get to make everyone else’s life shitty. Go take your daddy issues back to the trailer park because we’re tired of hearing you bitch and moan about your ‘struggle’ next time your attempt assault, I’ll call the dean and we’ll see exactly how far your scholarship gets you in juvie.”

Sasha, to the least, was shock. Toni had always been quiet, even when they were friends. She looked like she was about to retort when Toni grabbed Lucette’s hand and hauled her back to their room. Neither spoke till they were safe inside.

“Classes haven’t even started yet and I’m probably already expelled.”

Lucette laughed slightly, “Thanks for that. I’m sorry I...outed you.”

Toni sighed, “It’s fine. It would have come out anyways. I’m sorry I was a bitch to you at first. No one deserves to be treated like that Lucette.”

She sighed, “No one called me Lucette. It’s Lucie. Lucette is like...so stuffy.”

It was almost magic how fast Lucie and Toni clicked, they had the same interests, opinions everything they had was shared. Even secrets.

“And then I punched her in the nose.”

“You punched a kindergartener!” Lucie exclaimed, they were lying opposite on Lucie’s bed. Toni’s feet on the pillows, Lucie’s head on the pillows.

“To be fair she was older than me at the time, and she had it coming.”

They sat in silence for a beat before Toni asked, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever said?”

“I don’t know. I told my parents I hated them and I told my brother he was a geek. What about you.”

“I told my nanny she was a slut.”

Lucie paused to consider, “Why?”

This is what she loved about Lucie. She didn’t judge or assume, maybe because she was in a similar position, or maybe that’s just how Lucie was.

“She was being fired, for sleeping with Father, on her way out she begged me to tell my parents I loved her and not Maria, and that I wanted her for a mother insead. So I said, ‘I don’t want a slut for a mother.’”

“Do you regret it?”

“Everyday. I loved her, I loved Francesa like I love Jarvis. I never told anyone but Maria knows, she was there.”

“Have you ever loved another girl, besides Francesca?”

“I don’t know maybe.”

Lucie sat up on the bed, she glanced at the door, it was cracked open, that was the policy for some reason, no doors are completely closed.

“I think I have.” Lucie said

“Who?”

“A couple girls, a few nannies of my own. And you.”

“You love me?” Toni said her voice shaking, she sat up on her knees now. 

“Yes. I love you Toni.”

“I love you too.” And before she knows it, they both lean forward, and close their eyes.

Kissing Lucie is a lot like knowing Lucie, soft and sweet and pure. Her blonde hair was long but often swept back, her green eyes were striking. Neither deepened the kiss, neither knew how. But they sat there kissing slowly, tenderly for what seemed like a long time.

“Oh my god.” Toni whipped her head around to see Sasha standing in their doorway, “You two fucking freaks. I’m telling!”

Losing Lucie is incomparable to pain Toni’s felt before. She has felt pain, plenty of times but crying about this seems ridiculous and weak. Toni’s knows’ she’s made of diamonds.

The headmistress takes Lucie away that night, and she’s sent home soon after. Toni stays, and for the short rest of the year she silently takes wild looks from the other girls, she hears lesbian, dyke, slut tossed around but the emptiness numbs her and she barely notices.

The return home is quiet and no one acknowledges Lucie Steele, but they traded emails and Lucie’s parents are mad. Apparently Howard Stark called them and told them their daughter turned his daughter into a dyke. 

She thinks losing Lucie is even worse than the silence her absence left behind, but not by much.


	4. The L Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title made more sense in the unedited version, oh well
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

Walking down the hallway Toni kept her face neutral. It was a difficult task, between the raging voice in her head, and the whispering voices around her. It wasn’t a quiet whisper either, she could make out exactly what they were saying, 

“She kissed Lucie.” “I heard she’s a lesbian.” “ She got her roomate sent away because she rejected her.”

The conspiracy theories around Toni’s sexuality got worse by the day, and she had quite a few more days of eighth grade at this school. Her room was empty, Willa, her new roommate didn’t stick around long, only slept in the shared room once a week. 

The school couldn’t kick her out, because her father funded most of the programs, but they didn’t do a thing to make her life better. 

But she had a secret safe haven, Lucie and her had traded emails and often talked, quite possibly keeping Toni sane. Lucie was going to public school in New York, and she loved it. No one seemed to care who her parents were and how much money she had there, it’s ironic she faced more bullying for being rich in a private school. 

Her grades were optimal, she was first in class, maybe because she wasn’t busy with anything other than studying, or maybe because she was just smart. 

She often had only one person for company in the library late at night, Sasha, her old friend who made it her life purpose to be a bitch to Toni two years ago when they both started sixth grade. 

They never talked, but they never fought which was rare, it’s like the library was a safe zone in their war. 

But out of the library it was all out there was no mercy, Sasha had her friends who made a chorus of sneers and cackles whenever Sasha spoke, and Toni had only herself to defend. She held her own most days but sometimes when Sasha and Co. cornered her in the stairwell she gave in and silently took their abuse before turning away and walking back to her dorm.

Her other beacon of light was a new friend she met at a summer program at MIT, James Rhodes. She and him emailed too, he was in the same grade and he even lived nearby, she and him seemed to click in the same way Lucie and her had. Well not exactly the same way, she couldn’t imagine Rhodey kissing her, he was like the brother she never had. 

She’d been having a good day, a good week even, which was a rare commodity. Howard sent her a note congratulating her on being on the dean's list, and Toni knew it was only because Maria caught him with her new mistress, and wanted some good will with his daughter, but she didn’t care.

Skipping down the hallway lightly, Toni ignored the glares, just as she opened her door, Willa tried to exit, bumping into Toni. 

“Oh, sorry,” Toni said lightly, bending down to gather the things her roommate dropped.

“Don’t!” Willa exclaimed, “I have them.” She reached down and grabbed the large leather bag that could’ve hidden a dead body, and rushed down the hall without another word.

But the day was still good, she’d planned on taking her new laptop down the the library and emailing Sasha and Rhodey before starting her research project. Maybe even stopping by the cafeteria for a snack before retiring for the evening. It was only December but Toni felt very ready to leave this school at the end of eighth grade. 

Her desk was characteristic disheveled and despite being often tempted, Toni didn’t move any of her stuff onto Willa’s desk or bed. She didn’t need to give Sasha anymore fuel, to call her out on being selfish or kicking Willa out of their room, Toni could picture it now, “Lonely Loser”, taunting her in the hallways, it was better than the other L word, lesbian.

Toni had no idea if they were right. Maybe she was a lesbian, to be fair she did kiss a girl. But if she was a lesbian, why was she hurt or offended when someone called her a lesbian? If she was attracted to girls it shouldn’t insult her right? Rhodey assured her earlier that week that it was ok to be offended, because her classmates weren’t exactly celebrating her sexuality, they were demonizing it. 

Her train of thought was interrupted by the realization that her new laptop was not in the room. It wasn’t a very large room, and Toni knew she hadn’t misplaced it, it’d been a gift from her father, well partially. He’d given her the resources to build a computer and the screen schematics, but she built it, and gave him back hair designs. The new Stark Computers looked eerily similar to her own, but she didn’t particularly care. It wasn’t anywhere near Willa’s stuff, she never touched Willa’s bed or desk. Suddenly she remembered Willa’s rush to get out of the room, and refusal to let Toni touch any of her bags, one of which was so big it could hold the clunky laptop. She’d been running down the hall, right towards Sasha’s room.

Furiously, certainly without thinking it through, Toni stormed down the hallway to confront Sasha and the other girls involved. The door was unlocked, due to the policy, and she shoved it open.

Sasha was thankfully alone, which is rare. “What do you want?” She said, mildly surprised,

“Where is my laptop?”

“What laptop?”

“Cut the bullshit Sasha, this is too far. You’ve stolen my property.”  
“Well it’s illegal to be gay in most countries, we could get you kicked out of school for attacking Lucie in sixth grade.”

They both knew this was unlikely. Lucie had signed a nondisclosure, and wouldn’t testify against Toni, obviously. 

“First of all, it’s not illegal to be gay in America, and I thought Lucie and I had a passionate romance through sixth grade, if you keep changing your story, the court will never believe you.”

But the real reason Toni was still here was left unsaid, her father might as well own the school.

“If you’re done looking for your old laptop, you’re welcome to leave. I don’t need anyone seeing you come out of my room...y’know?” Sasha said with a sickly sweet grin. Toni knew she’d not find it here, so she turned on her heel, as slammed the door shut gardening looks from students in the hall but she’s so beyond caring.

So she skips her library, and email session. She calls herself with breath techniques, and just waltz’s down to the cafeteria by herself. And sure enough, her computer is back in her room when she gets back. She’s not naive enough to think she just missed it when she first looked, or that she scared Sasha into giving it back. She knows they got whatever that wanted off it and now she’ll just wait for the other shoe to drop. 

But in the meantime, she has to plan for revenge, because if she’s going down, Sasha sure as hell will too. 

It’s about five months before Toni’s plan is set into motion. Sasha’s too weary of her right after stealing her laptop, but over right before April break, on Sasha’s birthday, she receives a large computer, not a laptop like Toni. A desk computer that takes up most workspace on the tables given to students. But Sasha loves it, so Toni hacks it. 

It’s so rudimentary, she doesn’t even have to break into Sasha’s room over April break. Sasha went home, along with almost every other student, but Toni’s never been invited back to her house over break, on the brief chat with Maria, she’s told to keep safe at school over break. 

The virus is planted seamlessly, and if Sasha wasn’t the devil incarnate, Toni might even feel bad.

It takes weeks before the bug starts to show, just like planned. Sasha blames Toni, of course because she’s not stupid, but Toni didn’t plan for her revenge.

Ironically, Sasha wouldn’t have gotten revenge if Toni hadn’t gotten revenge, and Toni could later appreciate the humor in the situation, but it took a few years.

“Oh Lucie! I miss you so so much! I wish they’d sent me home instead, so I didn’t have to deal with the ever present eyes on me, but then you’d still be here suffering and I couldn’t take that either!”

The dramatic reading of Toni and Lucie’s emails blindsided Toni. She had to admit, it made them look very much in love, but Toni wasn’t sure how she felt about that word. She told Lucie she loved her, but she didn’t know what love was. 

There were pages and pages to read, and Toni couldn’t very well walk up to Sasha and snatch the pages out of her hand. The teachers did nothing to stop her, quite possibly having no idea what was going on. 

But it was June. Toni was tired. She’d made plans for the end of the school year, Rhodey and her were taking the metro back to MIT to start the summer program early, and Toni didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize this. So she sat back and listened.

But Maria had other ideas, “We’ll be sending you back to the higher education program next year of course.”

“What? What do you mean? I have to come back?”

“Yeah Antoinette. The high school program there will be perfect.”

It was the last day, and it would have been perfect. Rhodey arrived that afternoon to take her away, she’d thought for the last time, but Maria had other plans. She packed her bags in silence, and met Rhodey at the exit of the school.

She let herself space out and she even considered crying later that day, but then she caught Sasha’s eye.

Sasha was standing close by with her parents, her grin was malleolus and it grew as she stalked over to Toni. 

Ignoring Rhodey, she gasped, “Oh Annie! I’m so going to miss you, but it’s only for the summer, I hear we’re both coming back next year!” She hugged Toni, and she felt her spine go rigid, in her ear Sasha whispered, “If you think this year was bad, next year’s gonna be a hell hole. Bye bye, you psychotic lesbian bitch.”

And next year flashed before Toni’s eyes, the same as the last three years but more vengeance, more kids recruited to making Toni’s life hell. She took a breath, and decided.

“Let’s get one thing straight. Just because I’m attracted to girls doesn’t mean I don’t have standards, so you giggling about me going into your room at night is ridiculous because anyone with eyes wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole and a barf bag. Secondly, I think me telling the administration about your stealing activity lately might stop you from coming back next year all together, but even if it doesn’t, telling them how I hack your tired ass laptop back to hell will certainly get me expelled so I won’t be seeing you next year. By the way, as you know I’m an oblivious rich girl, so tell me what a girl like you from a poor ass town with a criminal record will look like to colleges, I’d really really like to know.”

Sasha’s face was a mix between shocked and seething, she stumbled for words and by the time found them, Toni and Rhodey were already on their train.


	5. Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :3
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

“Toni, we don’t have all day. They all look the same, just choose one.” Maria exhales all in one breath, it’s impressive really.

Toni’s working theory is that she just breathes between glares. She was right though, all twelve dresses hung up in front of her were of the same color, similar fabrics, and basic cuts, she just couldn’t decided. What a problem to have, deciding which fancy dress to wear to a fancy party Toni doesn’t even fancy being at. 

“You choose one. I can’t decided.” Toni shields her eyes dramatically, turning away from the red dresses and her disapproving mother.

“And listen to you complain about it for the rest of the evening? Not a chance. Just pick a number one through twelve.”

“Six...no eight.” Toni turned back to the dresses to get one last look at them but was simply shoved a bundle of clothing. “Number seven, between six and eight. That’s your choice.”

The dress was fine, as were all the others, Toni just hated the party.

“Now get changed, you have five minutes. Then go get your father, he’s in his room.” Maria paced out of the large closet, then out of Toni’s room, leaving her to change in silence.

Toni had gotten boobs recently, and she very much enjoyed them. They could be a hassle on stairs, and jump roping was a forgotten memory, but they made dresses look older, more sophisticated. They weren’t even that big, probably would get bigger after she got her period, but Toni felt a sense of accomplishment at managing to obtain boobs. 

The tabloids noticed too, dubbing Toni an adult which apparently meant people could make jokes about her, sexual jokes. She didn’t mind really, some of them were funny, but she couldn’t help but wonder if they knew she was thirteen or were just choosing to ignore it. She’d found a countdown timer to her eighteenth birthday on a site filled with young celebrities legal birthdays. 

The dress that evening sat on her well, and her curly hair magically had volume, thanks to a very dedicated hair stylist. She looked much older than she was, fifteen or sixteen or even older. But this is what they wanted, they did this on purpose.

Her mother room moved farther and farther away as the years went by, no longer did Maria sit across the hall as Howard screwed young women, she moved up two stories and about as diagonal from the cave of testosterone as she could, and Toni didn’t blame her. It smelled like cigarettes and sex. 

That particular evening, Howard sat on his couch while two women in impressively high heels acted out some sort of story. Their dresses covered their thighs, but were sheer, showing off an intricately laid set of lingerie that gave Toni a headache when she thought of attempting to put it on.

“Howard? Maria says it’s time to go.” Toni said loudly, projecting over the girls shrill voices.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, be right there, hold up for me, mmk?” Howard said standing up and walking to the back bathroom, only lulling to the left slightly.

The girls moved towards the door where Toni stood, they must’ve been drunker than Howard because they fell all over themselves.

“You. Must. Be. Antonia.” The taller of the two said

“It’s Antoinette, Sin!” the other giggled, “Sorry. We’re a little tipsy.” She whispered the last part as if it was a secret.

“That’s alright, you can call me Toni.” Why not make friends with your dad’s prostitutes, what could go wrong.

“Well I’m Sindy and this is Elle.” Sindy said, before looking Toni up and down, “Toni, Toni, Toni. That’s a boys name.”

“It’s shortened.”

“Have you ever kissed a boy?” Elle asked

“No.”

“Have you ever kissed a girl?”

Toni paused, looking away from the towards the door where Howard disappeared, 

“Oh! She paused! She paused Sin!”

“So what?” Toni said defensively, she didn't mean to bare her soul to these two

“So you have kissed a girl.”

“Yeah?” Toni braced herself for the look, and the pause, and the word. Lesbian.

“Was it good?” Sindy asked curiously  
“I don’t know.” Toni said shifting her weight on her heels, they were only an inch or two high, while Sindy and Elle’s were easily four, “Why don’t we sit.”

She motioned to a nearby couch that looked relatively clean. Cleaner than the others.

“So it was your first kiss.” Sindy sat down right next to Toni, and Elle sat further away.

“Yeah.”

“Did you french?”

“Did I what?”

“French? French kiss?”

“Um. I don’t know probably not.”

“Oh she’s so cute Elle! She doesn’t know how to french!” Sindy exclaimed

“It’s when you stick your tongue in.” Elle explained

Toni must have made a face, probably of disgust, because Elle and Sindy laughed, 

“That can’t feel...good?” Toni said uncertainty

“Oh yeah it can.” Sindy bit her lip, “Let me show you.”

And suddenly Toni was kissing Sindy, but not like she’d kissed Lucie. Lucie was gentle and soft, but Sindy was excited and adventurous. Her tongue wasn’t shy she basically leaned over onto Toni mid kiss.

When she finally let go and stopped, Toni was breathless, “But..but isn’t that illegal? I’m underage.”

“Oh honey. So are we.” 

Howard walked in before Toni could even begin to process the last ten minutes. 

“Antoinette. Let’s go.” He seemed to have a special drug in the bathroom that cures hangovers and drunkenness in minutes, but Toni couldn’t even start thinking about that.

“Sindy, Elle, you be here when I get back.” 

The drive was short and silent. Howard may have washed off his drunkenness, but it was still visible on his face, not that he was hiding it.

“The Steele’s will be there tonight.” Maria said

“Lucie?”

“Yes, Lucette Steele will be in attendance. I suggest you behave yourself.” Maria continued primly, “Her father is one of Howard’s biggest competitors, so a friendship between you two could be bad. Let alone a...” Maria didn’t finish her sentence.

So the first fifteen minutes of the party are spent scouting out Lucie, she doesn’t know how she missed this in their emails. She’ll have to be more descriptive next time and they can make plans to meet up.

“Toni?” A familiar voice says, ironically the second she’d given up hope and retreated to the snack bar was when Lucie happened upon her.

“Lucie! I’ve been looking all around for you! Maria said you’d be here.”

“Wow, I feel like I haven’t seen you in.. four years.”

“Only three I think actually.” Toni supplied

“Well it’s been forever.”

“You’ll never guess what just happened.”

The prostitutes in Howard's bedroom seemed to amuse Lucie, and her perspective on the situation calmed Toni down a lot.

“So where have you been going?” Lucie asks, “To school I mean.”

“Ever since I got myself expelled, Maria and Howard decided it was best not to spend money on a school environment until I was mature enough to handle it, so I’ve been homeschooled. But this year since I only have two years on highschool left, and Maria is leaving for a tour across the states with “Mothers of America” I’m going to convince Howard to let me go back to school. Where are you going?”

“Pittsford High, it’s in New York. Hey, if Howard lets you choose any school you want, you should just come there!”

“Really? I mean, of course.”  
The party seemed less dull suddenly, and since Maria was leaving the following morning, Toni just wanted to go home. 

The next morning, her night with Lucie seemed like a dream. Maria was gone, left early the morning, and Howard was lazily sitting in the living room, drunk or hungover.

“Remember how you said I could go back to school soon?”

“When did I say that?”

“Last night, and Maria said no, and you said-”

“Yea yeah. I remember that. I told her who funds your education. Have any schools in mind?”

“Yes, a public school.”

“A Stark in public?”

“It’ll be good for the image. Rich family trusts government education.”

“Maybe. Maybe, I’ll think about it.”

He called Maria, and asked if she had anything to say on the matter, she had a lot to say on the matter, and when they hung up, he went and did the opposite of what she told him to do. So Toni was enrolled in eleventh grade at Pittsford High School for the fall of 1999. 

She met Lucie on the walk to school everyday. It was a nice tradition they started in private school together as a survival tactic, now turned cutesy relationship thing. 

Oh right, they were dating. They finally cracked after two weeks of school together, never talking about the kiss, or the consequences of the kiss. It was Toni who started it, blowing up a little, exclaiming she really liked Lucie and no one would probably even care if they dated.

They didn’t really. No one said anything to their faces, the gossip magazines must not have gotten word yet, or maybe they were still caught up on her boobs. 

But Mr. Steele on the other hand, didn’t not approve of it. Going so far as to call up Howard and tell him his lesbian daughter was corrupting the good Steele family name, Howard replied that Mr. Steele was homophobic, and he didn’t chose who his daughter dated, and for any of that to be true, the Steele family would have to have a good name to begin with.

Toni’s face shone with pride at his defense, but when he hung up he angrily hit her with the back of his hand, landing right on her cheekbone.  
She fell to the ground in shock, and he said nothing, eventually leaving. Maria, who was now back at home, found Toni on the ground, and for the first time in ten or so years, gently picked her up, helped her to the bathroom, and gently applied concealer to her cheek. Before placing a light blue pill on the counter.

“If you’re having sex, even lesbian sex, take the pill.” Maria stated calmly.

“I’m not having-”

“Take the pill.”

And that pill was the easiest one the swallow yet.


	6. Dumb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Didn't love this one, might just post two today because I'm not loving this chapter.
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

Starting college is supposed to be a big deal, but for Toni it’s a really big deal. At only fifteen years old, she starts it and everyone seems to be looking. Magazines’ run “Before and After” stories about her for a solid month before, and Toni is very tired at looking at her five year old self hobble through red carpets. 

Lucie’s stopped calling. Probably moved on, or realized what a mess she was. Or maybe she’s mad Toni went to college first, since she got early admissons, and Lucie’s still in highschool.

TMZ noticed their relationship, and honestly it’s about time. They weren’t even being subtle about it. So now between ‘look how far she’s come’ Toni also see’s ‘spiraling after girlfriend leaves’ stories on the front cover of teeny magazines.

Maybe it’s for the best she doesn’t have a relationship when she starts college, now she can focus on the robot she’s bulding. If asked the purpose of robot, it’s for daily life assitance, but it in the very first beta stages of design. If why she built it, it’s because she wanted to build a fucking robot.

Howard no longer entertains at his own house, since people were starting to notice, but instead hosts a weekly poker night where rich men gamble away their pocket money.

It’s one of those nights, when she’s finished the offical project she’d been working on, a styalzied gun with pinpoint acrucy and detector when target is in range, when she begins working on her unnamed robot, but this night was different, because on this night it worked.

The automated beep the little robot makes, startles Toni, and when his hand thing moves up and down Toni wants to cry.

She runs upstairs, and cries “Dad! Dad! My robot worked!” fprgetting he had company and only just noticing the table full of suprised faces, and the one annoyed face,

“I’m busy antoinette.”

“Aw come on Howard. Go look at the robot.”

“Yeah Howard, maybe learn something.”

Toni cracked a smile, she never heard anyone directly mock Howard.

“Why don’t we all venture down and take a look, this game is stiff anyways.”

“You only think so cause you’re losing.”

They all eventually stood up and followed Toni down the stairs, where the robot sat. She pressed her buttons, and once again it beeped on, before the arm began to move. 

It looked less impressive the second time, probably because it had little purpose.

“This is just the prototype, the next model will have more feautes, better automation and-”

“Hey what’s this?” One of Howards closer friends Toni recognzed as Obidiah said, looking at another work desk with the proto gun on it.

“That’s another project. It silences automatically, tells the shooter when the targets in range, and had pin point accuracy.”

“Well, why didn’t you start with this one?”

“Well actually-” Obidiah turned to the makeshift shooting range where Toni tested it out earlier, and it shot perfectly, silences and accurate.

“Perfection. Howie why don’t we take these skematics upstair with us for after we finish our game?”

Howard nodded, and they gathered the papers, and the group started upstairs, Toni started to walk with them when Howard turned around, “It’s still guys night Antoinette. We’re just going to fix all the bugs in that gun and play poker, it’d just bore you.”

Toni nodded, she knew what was happening, but how could she even try to stop it without getting the back of Howards hand again.

“Right.”

Sure enogh two monthes later the Stark pistol XI 4 came out, exactly how Toni had designed it, with Howard Stark printed across the handle. 

“Howard?”

“Yeah Antoinette?”

“Remember during Poker night when I showed you that prototype?”

“Uh huh?”

“Well, I think you took the skematics and put it into production without giving me any credit.”

“Are you sure about that because I don’t remeber putting any useless robots into production recently.”

His response shocked her, he was simply ignoring her, despite know what he did.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Well, why don’t you go play with your dumb robots.”

So she went downstairs to the useless, carless robot that reminded her a lot of someone she knew, and she names it Dum-E after Howard.


	7. Scary Hollow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drama is real in this one, maybe little long thou
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

She should have seen it coming honestly, because everything she touches turns to ash, or worse. Nothing gold can stay ponyboy. 

But it still shocked her, she still sat in her room and marveled at the fact that Toni ‘ice queen’ Stark, who prided herself of being made of diamond, untouchable but mortal emotions, was crying, sobbing infact. Like a child.

But her best friend in the world was dead and hadn’t thought to tell Toni she’d been dying since the day they met.

Lucie Steele was true to her name, Steele and sharp, but not pointy and mean sharp, intelligent, complex, and in the end even though her actions made no sense, Toni could understand why she did what she did.

Looking back on things Lucie said, everything fit together like a puzzle piece, she told Toni how the school they were at was different, even though she was being bullied and teased, it was for different things. Previously, Toni assumed, she’d been teased for being weak and fragile and hollow, because she was always sick. Now they were teasing her for being rich, but they were after Toni too so she didn’t feel alone.

Toni didn’t know why she was mad at Lucie, it’s not like she killed herself, and it’s not like this was a shock to anyone else. But it shook Toni to her core, made her reevaluate life, because if it can snuff out a good person, a much better person that To I'll ever be, slowly and painfully letting her suffer like that, then what’s the point?

Maria told her a week after it happened, Toni doesn’t know why. Maybe she couldn’t bring herself to do it, maybe she forgot. It doesn’t matter. She didn’t offer much as comfort, just a stiff hug and quiet condolences, but Howard was clear that Toni would not being going to the funeral, and wouldn’t even disclose how she died.

Not that Toni asked, she didn’t want to know. Cancer, brain tumor, kidney problems, heart failure, whatever it was. Toni would research it, find out current treatment methods, point out their flaws, fix them, and once she had a better process of treatment she would realize that she’s still too late. Maybe one day she’ll look up cause of death but right now Toni was doing her best not to die of a broken heart.

Doing her best apparently meant doing her worst, and maybe she got a little out of control. Fucking a new guy or girl every other day, hitting crack three ways to sunday isn’t known to be the best grieving process but who’s really to say it’s bad.

No matter how many times a personal assistant picked her off the floor the next morning she always managed to find a new one to pass out on that night. There was always someone willing to fuck, and since she was turning 18 in a few short months, she’d be legal to buy all sorts of shit. 

“I don’t care” was her anthem for a while, all the way till Christmas when her parents requested her presences at Stark Manor. The stuffy old house seemed like hell and she meant to decline, but the carefully worded letter was filled with concern, and hope, and that was two more emotions than Maria normally managed.

So she packed her things, ditched the bong and even wore something fancy to Christmas Eve with Howard and Maria Stark, she honestly didn’t know why she expected it to go differently than every other Christmas Eve.

Their faces were stoic, judgmental, and all around prudish. She made a point of avoiding the last month or so of her life, steering clear of partying, to avoid a fight. But that’s where Howard wanted to go, and Howard didn’t like not getting his way.

“So Antoinette-”

“Toni.”

“So...Antoinette, would you like to explain your actions these past few months.” Howard finally pointed out the elephant in the room bluntly, 

“My actions?” Toni asked challenging him,

“You’re embarrassing, insufferable reputation for being a slutty party girl is ruining our good name.” Howard says calmly

“What good name? The only difference between you and me is you did it in front of your wife and child.” Toni replies equally as calmly

“Don’t you start turning this on me young lady.” She can practically see his blood pressure rising.

“What? Are you going to hit me again?”

He stops, his hand had been clenched. That was exactly what he’d been planning on doing.

She stood up suddenly, and only adressesing Maria said, “I don’t care about our differences, I think you only stuck around for me and I can’t thank you enough for that, but I’m nearly an adult now, I don’t want to watch you suffer. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll hightail it out of here, because that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

If Maria had ever been surprised in her life, it was that moment. She didn’t look angry, but impressed and considerate. She glanced towards Howard for a moment before standing up and silently returning to her room. Toni stormed out the front doors ignoring Howard’s angry cries.

“Tera, tell me where the nearest rager to my house is.” She phoned her nearby friend, who always seemed to know where free booze was.

“What? Why?”

“I ditched my bong, but my parents meet and greet went south. I’m getting in my car, just give me an address and details.”

“Well I’m already out for the night but Reed Richards son is having his 18th right now, it’s only just started but it’s at the mansion?”

“Reed Richards son? I hated that kid.” She’d met him a few times at their parents work meetings, “Well, he better have some good booze.”

And just like that, Party Toni was loose again, this time with a vengeance. She didn’t think about a goddamn thing.

The mansion was glowing. Reed must be away for the weekend, but Toni hoped he was away for the month, otherwise his son would never get this place clean in time. Filled with drunk people, who always seemed to cling to walls and doorways making travel hard, Toni realized she was much too sober to be there. Her fix was downing 6 full cups of whatever beer they were serving and actually earning a round of applause.

“That was actually pretty impressive.” Toni turned around to a tall brunette guy behind her, playfully smirking, “Bet you can’t double it.”

“Oh honey.” Toni said , “You don’t have to get me drunk for me to fuck you. I’ve already had a shitty night so let’s cut to the chase, find a big ass bed in this big ass mansion and let’s stock up on more shit to tell our therapists in twenty years.”

Mystery brunette seemed okay with the arrangement, and she followed him up stair to a large red bed in a room lined with mirrors and windows.

She didn’t have much time to inspect the interior design though.

It was heavy and quick the first time, but as they went it got slower and longer, she didn’t mind. Halfway through their third time he whispered, “Should we have used a condom?”

“I’m on the pill.” She replied, despite the fact her plane to new york from LA had messed up her whole schedule, she had total trust in the magic of modern contraceptive medicine.  
But soon, they were done. Neither wanted anymore, and neither wanted to move. Toni usually pulled her pants on my now, but the sheets were soft and the brunette was...a person. So she stayed, not asking permission from her companion, not that he was lucid enough to give it.

They woke up late that night, most people had left, those who hadn’t did their best to that afternoon. 

Strangely they woke up together, even sitting up in the bed at the same time, silently putting on close before he tried to make awkward conversation.

“So, that was nice.” He said

“Yeah.”

“I have coffee and stuff if you want-”

“That’s fine, I have to go anyways.” She gathered her clothes, and thanked god they were casual, so she didn’t look like a total slut doing the walk of shame.

“So we’re not even going to trade names?”

“Ok fine, what’s your name?”

“Ronnie. Ronnie Richards.”

Toni choked on air, “Richards? As in Reed Richards? As in this is your party?”

“Yeah? Why?”

Toni stuffed her shirt down more furiously, and kicked her shoes on “Oh shit shit shit.”

“What the fuck is wrong?”

“I’m Toni Stark! That’s what’s wrong! I literally cannot fuck you, it’s just now allowed. The last time I fucked my dad’s business rivals’ kid...”

“Toni Stark? As in Antoinette Stark? As in Howard Stark?”

“Yes, you idiot what did you think I meant?”

He ramblemed for a few seconds, not managing to say anything to her before she raced out the door.

Toni did her best not to think about it again, she crashed with Tera, refrained from partying because obviously she makes terrible decisions while drunk. Sure she went out, but after analyzing the past few weeks, she’s probably ought to cool it before she hurts herself.

“It’s your body withdrawing from all the alcohol.” Tera said unsympathetically as she held Toni’s hair back, when she puked into the toilet.

“You don’t go into withdrawal from alcohol. I don’t think so anyways.” Toni said, interrupted but nauseous, but continued, “Besides I haven’t had more than a glass in weeks, there no way I’d be feeling it now.”

“Well you’re either pregnant, in withdrawal, or have a serious illness and we should get you to the hospital.”

“Wow, all those options suck ass.”

“Ok let's go through them. If you have a serious illness, you’d have other symptoms like eye or skin discolorations chest or stomach pain, bloody shit.” Tera listed

“Well none of that.”

“You haven’t had a proper chug in weeks, it’s more likely your three day nap after that party was your withdrawal.”

“I’m still not convinced you can withdraw from alcohol.”

Tera paused, “Toni that only leaves, pregnant. Who’s the last person you had sex with and did you wear protection?”

“You’re gonna laugh at me.” Toni groaned, and Tera didn’t deny it, “Ronnie Richards. Reed Richards’ son.”

“Oh my god. But you used protection right?”

Toni bit her lip nervously, the wave of nausea over and she slid to the tile floor, looking at her feet not answering.

“Oh my god, you’re pregnant with Ronnie Richard’s baby.”

“Shut up, I’m probably not even, I drank so much alcohol that night and the weeks before I probably sterilized myself.”

“Ok, now you’re making up random alcohol side effects.”  
Toni really didn’t think she was pregnant. She really didn’t. But two dozen positive pregnancy test highly suggested otherwise, and a visit to her doctors confirmed it. They placed the date of conception the week of the previous christmas. 

“Yup, you’re about five weeks along now.” The doctor said cheerfully, ignoring Toni’s current situation. But she expected nothing less, this doctor had already pumped her stomach twice, and given her an IV to sober her quickly a few times, she found it fitting when all of the consequences to her actions came to a head.

“You can’t tell my dad.” Toni said quietly

“Ms. Stark, you are only seventeen-”

“But I’ll be eighteen when the baby’s born, if it’s born in July like expected, I turn eighteen in May.”

“So you’re keeping the baby?” the doctor said, “If you’re not, you only have a few more weeks, maybe less to decided, they tend to be very strict about this sort of thing, especially with minors.”

“I don’t know. I think so. I don’t know.”

The doctors smiled comfortingly, placing a hand on her shoulder, “We'll take a day or two, decide but try to do it quickly.” She turned to leave the room so Toni could get dressed, but Toni said, “What do you think I should do?”

“Well with your history, I’d suggest you keep it. Your history of alcoholism might put extra strain on the body with the procedure, and since your young, the pregnancy would have less effect on the body, at least physically. Emotionally you’ll need support. Tremendous support.”

But Toni didn’t have that. Howard and Maria would judge her for the rest of her life, Ronnie didn’t seem like the fatherly type, not to mention he was legal and she wasn’t so their whole relationship created problems by it own, and she had Tera but Tera had been a drinking buddy, not a co-parent or support system. In the end she knew if she did this, she’d do it alone. But the print finally worked, and on her way out the doctor handed her a picture of her baby. And her decision was made.

She’d always supported the right to choose, partially in the beginning because it infuriated Howard, but the more research she’d done, the more appalling it was women weren’t naturally afforded the right to choose. Now that the choice was up to her, she made up her mind considering both options, but she wanted this baby to live. She knew she’d have to give it up, and she’d probably never meet the person with half her genetic makeup, but she didn’t care, because she couldn’t give this child much in life, but she could give it life.  
So she started prenatal care, and planned. Most teenage girls who fall pregnant are overwhelmed, but Toni squashed her feelings and figured out how to do this with no one ever finding out. She first made Tera and her doctor sign non-disclosure agreements, then her lawyer, then she pushed back her summer vacation to Italy a few months so that she’d leave around five months, when she started showing. Nobody in Italy really knew her and if she kept her head down, she could certainly avoid the press. Maria and Howard said nothing about her plan changes, not suspecting anything. And suddenly Toni was alone, but not alone because her baby kept her silent company.

Six months was a long time to be pregnant. When she first started feeling sick, she’d blamed extreme drinking and slight drug use, but now she knew it was because she was growing a child it felt even more exhausting. But Italy was beautiful and she never had to leave her penthouse apartment that came with a pool, and a view. She’s signed in under a false name and only the room service knew she was pregnant. She wasn’t even showing that much. 

She finally had to leave after a week on staying put, throwing on her loosest dress and maybe she looked pregnant or a little fat, but no one knew who she was so she walked down the Italian streets with pride.

She didn’t have to worry about being stir crazy for much longer, because as seven months set in she didn’t want to leave her bed, let alone her apartment. She watched documentaries, of many different varieties, historical, scientific, and some specifically about pregnancy.

But eight months was the worst. In month nine she was given numbing pills but eight was spent sideways like a beached whale, while she ironically read about Ronnie Richards accidentally blowing up a yacht and even getting sent to jail overnight. She wondered where he’d be if she’d told him. Maybe next to her right now, maybe across the country hiding his face, denying paternity calling her a whore. Who knows.

And finally she was rushed to the hospital two weeks early, and Toni’s pretty sure she pushed herself into labor out of sheer force of will.

The baby didn’t come quick, or easy. It was long pushes and hours and hours of pain. But the cry of a newborn silenced everyone in the room, before the nurse could speak Toni cried in Italian, “Non dirmi cos'è, non voglio saperlo.” Don’t tell me what it is. I don’t want to know.

The nurses took the baby away after soothing it’s cries. Toni had arranged for a closed adoption for a couple in America, no sexuality or location preferences, but Toni had no idea where it was going or to whom. And once again Toni was alone.

She went home, to the manor, which was quiet. Maria and Howard were in Aspen or Guatemala, vacationing. Rhodey couldn’t take time off the air force whenever Toni was sad, her apparent baby daddy probably didn’t remember their one night stand, her baby was meeting it’s real family right now, and Lucie was dead. The numbness Toni fought for, that ended up getting her pregnant wore off just as she arrived to the hollow mansion, empty of servants or parents or little babies or pretty girls. And Toni sat down in the middle of the hill where she laid with Francesa and she thought about the dark scary mansion she’d drawn and Toni couldn’t help but feel like a scary, hollow, mansion herself.


	8. Not Really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also this one was iffy, prob gonna edit it
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

Toni wished she could say the expirence changed her. She grew as a person and she stopped her wicked ways. But there was always a party and Toni could always get in, and practically everyone was an enabler. She left the mansion shortly after reciving two manilla folders labelled “Antointte Stark Adoption”, she nearly burned them, but resolved to never look at them, but bring them to her house in New York City.

New York City was probably a mistake. Known for her wild party attitude, she got invites the second she stepped foot inside the city.

She didn’t veto a single one.

It was Rhodey who picked her up off the floor a while later, in fact nearly two years later on December sixteenth, in a week it’d be an annaversary of her one night stand and conceiving. Then in a few monthes the next birthday of her child. 

Her drunk mind flipped through possiblites to celebrate, all of which involved getting drunk.

“Not on my watch,” Rhodey said, helping her through the door of her apartment, she realized she’d been speaking out loud and hoped she hadn’t said too much. 

Rhodey forced coffee down her throat and she pointed out a home IV kit in the back, he rolled his eyes, “You have a problem you know?”

“Yeah it’s called alchohlism.” She paused at the sad look on Rhodey’s face. Maybe re-evalute she thought, it couldn’t hurt to ease up on the drinking, and maybe see Rhodey more or actually get to know her pretty new secretary, Pepper.

Maybe she’d stop drinking all together, as long as she was being told to, or forced too, she wasn’t giving up any power. And it felt pretty shitty to be drunk or hungover all the time.

She fell asleep with her mind set to being sober, her bed was soft and Rhodey fell asleep next to her.

“Tones.” Rhodey said nudging her, she cracked and eye open and the clock read six o’seven. She’d only fallen asleep a few hours ago, why was he waking her up. “Oh my god Tones I’m so sorry.”

He’d retreived the newspaper early that morning, he always woke up early, and smack dab on the front page was her fathers face, and above it read, “Starks Die In Tragic Car Accident”

Car accidnent? She hadn’t been told they were driving anywhere, she hadn’t talked to them since last week when they told her they disaproved of all her actions and life choices and she said they didn’t know the half of it. Her last words were “Well. Fuck you two.” Her last words.  
She breathed in hard but the air in her throat hurt and she choked. Pins and needles seemed be poking her in the face, and bile rised in her gut. She fell out of bed and dashed to the cabinet filled with vodka, and martini glasses, numbing the pain didn’t work last time but second times the charm.

She hadn’t even opened a bottle, when she heard Rhodey behind her, “Toni. Put it down.”

She set it down gently, turning towards him. “I’m an orphan.”

“Yeah I know babe.” He walked towards her opening for a hug and he practaclly carried her back to bed where they sat in silence for a minute.

“Should I move or sell?”

“Move or sell what?”

“The mansion. Stark Manor. Should I move in or sell it?”

“Who says you have to do either. Save it, redecorate. Move in when you’re married and have kids.”

She coughed at kids, she never told Rhodey, but she wanted to now.

“I’ll redecorate.”

“So what are you going to do now?” Rhodey said

“Now what?”

“Now that you don’t have any family?”

Her eyebrows broke into a furrow, “Rhodey, I gotta tell you something.” His nod prompted her, “I’m not all out of family.”

“Really? I thought your parents were both only children and your grandparents died.”

“Rhodey I had a baby.”

“You had a baby? When! You’re nineteen!”

“I was seventeen. Lucie had just died, I was fucking anything that moved and I messed up my pill, so I took a vacation and have been trying to drink myself to death for about two years.”

“That does explain a few things. What’s it’s name? Gender?”

“I don’t know. They sent me a folder with the information but its’ a closed adoption. I didn’t look.”

Rhodey didn’t press.

“I should call Jarvis, see how he’s handleing it.”

Rhodey glanced at the newspaper cautiously. “Tones.”

“What?" she snapped. The needles lightly pressed again she could feel dread pooling.

“He was driving them home that night.”

“No he wasn’t, he doesn’t drive much anymore.”

“Howard was drunk, and Maria never learned so he took the wheel.”

“You’re wrong. He wouldn’t drive. He didn’t.”

She took the papper in her hands and in the corner. A small memorial peice mentions driver, Edwin Jarvis also persihed in the crash. He was a foot note in the story or Maria and Howard. He barley got two inches.

She sat down on the bed and like Francesa had left all over agian, she cried. It was her fault everyone left. She called Francesa a slut, she never appreciated Jarvis, she’d given her baby away, she’d gotten Lucie kicked out. Soon enough Rhodey would leave too, probably sooner if she kept crying like this. 

“Please go.”

“Tones.” He said softly.

“I want to be alone. You can take the vodka if you want, and any other drink you find. I know theres some in the fridge.”

He nodded, and shuffled out, she heard a few clunks and then the door close. And she was alone.

The draw pulled her eye, and she bore into it like it might catch on fire if she stared long enough.

Finally she stood up and slowly pulled a top drawer open to reveal the manilla folders.  
She wasn’t alone.

Not really.


	9. Between The Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also this chapter title made more sense pre edit
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

Two years after she found out everything she could about her daughter, and Toni was busy. Good busy.

She’s inherited Stark Industries on her twenty first birthday, and Uncle Obie seemed fake happy for her, which was nice.

Her daughter’s name was Maia.

During a nightmare of an evening fueled by red bull an and uneasy feeling of being forever alone, Toni created JARVIS. Almost no one made the connections between JARVIS and Jarvis, except Rhodey.

Maia lived in California.

AA meetings give her more of a routine then normal but she supposes that’s a good thing. Her mentor gets concerned when she doesn’t show up, and when she does answer her phone, so her late night design binges and consequential two day long naps are cut down to a minimum to keep Lena, her mentor, from going bat shit on her. She loves Pepper but it’s different when it’s not completely her job to check on Toni.

Toni sold her house in California and tried move the SI office out so she’d never have to go there. It was a big state but she could never be too careful. Apparently Ronnie Richards just moved to LA, and ‘accidentally’ let it slip he slept with her a few years ago, and now the paparazzi think she’s avoiding him, which is true but unrelated. He has matured since stealing yachts or whatever, but she doesn't trust his reaction to finding out he's a father. He technically still has rights of Maia, even though Toni got them temporarily waived by not including his name on her immediate birth certificate. But if both her parents and Toni died, she’d go to him.

It’s been two years since Howard, Maria, and Jarvis died. She’s supposed to speak at their two year anniversary memorial but she can’t think of anything to write about them. The day arrives quickly, she thinks it snuck up. Soon enough she’s lightly holding Rhodey’s hand as she walks up the staircase in a black dress. Surrounded by her parents friends, she doesnt fit in. She’s isn’t glamorous, or classy. Sure she’s pretty, but if she put more time and effort in she could be prettier. Maria almost got her into modeling as a child, but then Howard dated a model, and then model meant slut. 

She’s sent to speak at the front, she’s handed a microphone, and looks out at the sea of concerned faces, quiet pity for the poor orphan. She spots Rhodey and Pepper, whom must’ve just arrived, and in the back she even sees Brynn Wayne of Wayne Enterprises.

But that’s for later.

“I never managed to prepare anything to say today. What can one say about their dead..deceased parents. She was beautiful, he was charming, I guess. I think because I only knew them as a child, barely as a young adult, I didn’t really know them at all. I knew them as perfect beings, rulers of my life. I never knew them as people.” She spewed bull shit for about two more minutes before ending with a quote from Howard about success that made him sound like a total asshole. But everyone applauded, and a few even caught her afterwards saying how kind and genuine she had been. 

She caught Brynn’s eye on the way out and they met outside.

“You leave your entourage in there?” Brynn said, 

“Pep and Rhodey? Yeah.”

She hadn’t talked to Brynn since they were kids, at the fancy parties their parents held. Then the Wayne’s died and Brynn stopped going.

“I guess we have more in common now then we did when we were children. Dead parents, big trust.”

Brynn must not have thought this funny, “Yeah I guess, I think I liked my parents though. More than you liked your parents.”

“Everyone likes their parents more than I liked mine.”

“So everything you just said was…?” She asked

“Bull? Yeah. I didn’t need another ‘Stark Goes Off The Deep End At Parents Memorial’ headline. It’s easier to just fake it.”

“Well you seemed sincere.”

“Oh.” Toni paused, “We should start a rich orphans club.”

“Rich orphans?”

Toni grinned, “Yeah, like children of multi billionaire’s whose parents die. Rich orphans.”

“I told you I liked my parents, my sense of humor isn’t as dark as yours is Toni.”

Brynn didn’t seem made exactly, just a little surprised but firm that she’d tolerate no more dead parents jokes.

“Want to get out of here?”

Brynn frowned, “Toni-”

“No I’m serious. I live like a block away. Pep and Rhodey are going home after this. They won’t expect me. I’m sober so I can’t offer you any booze but I’ve got like a case of sprite and redbull.”

Brynn looked down the street for a moment before saying, “Point the way.”

Brynn was beautiful without trying. Not like Toni who wasn’t bad looking but as previously mentioned, could look better. 

She stayed all weekend and they switched from fucking to watching bad Netflix Original movies like it was nothing. She thought for a moment she could get used to it, to having a girlfriend to watch stuff with. Brynn wouldn’t be a bad option for girlfriend.

But Sunday night she got a notification, “Shit.” Brynn exclaimed, she rarely swore, “What?” Toni replied

“Someone knows I’m here. They suspect we’re...together.”

“Well aren’t we?”

Brynn flashed her a looked, and Toni backtracked, “No no no, that’s not what I meant, I mean we are together and we are having sex. Or were.”

“I can’t take a media shitstorm right now. I’m supposed to be keeping a low profile.”

“There’s no way you could keep a lower profile Brynn. You haven’t done anything tabloid worthy in years.”

“I’m sorry Stark. I really have to go.” She hopped of the large couch and tugged on some jeans she must have brought. “I can’t be with you. You’re too much, their gonna read between the lines if we try to hide it.”

“So why hide it? It’ll die down.”

“Not fast enough.”

“Afraid people are gonna target me because of you because I am too. But we’re not superheroes. New York doesn’t have it’s own Batwoman, but I think I’ll be fine.”

“That’s what they all think.” Toni wants to probe what she means but she’s out the door and soon out of the apartment too quick.

Brynn was right, they keep the story alive for some time after her ‘relationship’ is dead. Even without lines to read between.


	10. Surprise Surprise Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter tbh, just love
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

At twenty three years old, even though she doesn’t believe in god, Toni thinks whomever is pulling the strings up there has it out for her.

Not a single relationship has lasted more than a month, besides one and Lucie died at seventeen. Her baby is somewhere in California so the whole state is off limits. And she loved California. Her parents are dead, but she didn’t even like them which just makes her feel worse. And then she was kidnapped and betrayed by her oldest family friend. Anyone would be theologically paranoid by now.

So while she’s sitting in her office listening to Pepper let out every grievance she’s had with Toni for roughly four years, and tunes her out, she lists the ways god screwed her over and if she believed in him she’d be thinking of ways to pay him back.

“And your constant hook ups! I have to clean those PR messes up.”

“Don’t have to worry about that much more.” Toni muses quietly

“What?”

“I’m deformed. My best quality, my tits, they got pushed a little to make room for my wacky pacemaker.” She keeps coming up with names for the arc reactor. Pacemaker is her favorite. 

“Toni. You’re not deformed.”

“I’m literally deform, don’t make me show you.” She was ready to unbutton her shirt when she got a ping on her stark phone. It read, “Urgent: South Alaska-Antarctic search squad found something early this morning. Looks promising. What next?”

She responds quickly, her heart racing, “Call Phillip Coulson.”

Her trip to NYC isn’t any fun at all. Pepper can’t go of course, she has a job. And who else would Toni go with. She’s getting text alerts every few minutes though, which keep her company and make her concern grown even more. 

“Artifact recovered. Appears to be circular shield.” Toni almosts spits out her drink

“Subject near artifact recovered. Appears to be human.” She found Captain America’s body! She actually found him? Fuck you Howard!

“Subject appears to be breathing. Vitals are strong, but hypothermia is present.” What.

What.

In her shock she doesn’t even notice the next few texts, alerting her Coulson has received all the recovered items, and people, and is sending them to the proper places for restoration and rehabilitation. Basically that SHIELD is taking over her operation.

She doesn’t even care.

Because this was not the deal. The deal was find Captain America’s body, give him a proper burial, maybe donate his outfit to a museum, be hailed as a hero and recognized for doing something her father never could and ultimately forget about the physical embodiment of her father's expectations that she could never reach.

To be honest she’s glad SHIELD took him, they probably have a better idea how to rehabilitate a seventy year old war veteran than anyone else, and she doesn't trust herself to let him die of hypothermia out of spite.

But that wouldn’t be fair. It’s not his fault his friend turned out to be a abusive alcoholic.

She arrived at the SHIELD HQ only hours after hearing about the discovery, they must not have known she was coming, or that she knew where is was because they only caught her entering the second security clearance, after intimidating the first entrances guard to let her in.

She put up with the low level agents telling her she couldn’t be there for about two minutes before she realized they didn’t even know why she was there. “I need to see Agent Coulson, or someone who knows what the fuck is going on.”

“We’re requesting Agent Coulson right now Ms. Stark, but he’s on official business.” 

“Yes I’m aware, he’s official stealing something I spent millions of dollars to discover.” Ok, maybe she cared a little.

“Ms. Stark. We weren’t expecting you.” She turned around to see Coulson, his arms crossed wearing a half annoyed half pleasant look, “Come with me.” 

She bypassed the rest of security, Coulson must be pretty high ranking she figured, and was led to a dark room with whole screen wall projecting a feed of Captain Rogers. Some doctors were operating on him, operating being an exaggeration because they were mostly doing a mild checkover of him and treating his minor hypothermia.

“He’s not even brain damaged?” Toni asks after a minute.

“Nope. His pupils are responsive and when he wakes up they’ll run a few more cognitive tests but so far have no reason to think he’ll have any disability or trauma. Physical trauma.”

Toni scoffs, emotional trauma can sometimes be worse. “So is the cello player still in the picture?”

“Yes. How is Ms. Potts by the way?”

“Ok ok, I get it. None of that talk, it give me a headache.”

Finally one of the doctors turns to the screen, “ON, we’re going to begin the process of waking him. We’ll move him to the set stage.”

“The set stage?” Toni asks, “Filming something Coulson?”

“We’ve set up a replica-”

“A replica of what exactly?”

Coulson gulps, “It’s nineteen forties themed.”

“You have got to be kidding me. That’s literally psychotic. That’s just cruel! He’ll wake up thinking he didn’t miss anything, then have it ripped away?”

“It’s going to ease him in to modern society, it’s the easiest-”

“That’s if he even buys it for a second! They only found him a few hours ago, how accurate it you’re little set? How well have you researched this?”

“We’ve researched it plenty Ms. Stark. You can watch the feed of him waking up, and then one of our agents debriefing him and then, and only then will you get to talk to him. But you’re going to have to leave after.”

“So you’re keeping Captain America hostage? I mean I found him so if anyone should get to keep him hostage, it should be me. By the way, no one has thanked me for discovering our ‘national treasure’ possibly saving him even.”

“Thank you Toni.” Coulson says, “SHIELD and America thanks you.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”

“Only that last part.”

Toni doesn’t say anything when the Captain hightails it out of SHIELD shitty remake stage, she sure thinks a lot of things, but says nothing. Coulson sends her a sideways glance and she counts it as a silent victory.

They find him, calm him down, and sit him in a poorly lit room, and if the Captain was handcuffed to a table it wouldn’t look out of place.

“Is that an interrogation room?” She asks

“It’s being repurposed.”

But their talking from the right side of a two way mirror and the Captain doesn’t know their there, so it’s not that repurposed. 

An agent walks in with two handfuls of manilla folders, plops them down on the desk and says, “This is what you missed Captain Rogers.”

Captain Rogers is what Howard always called him, Captain America was too formal, they were supposedly best buds, but Steve or Rogers wasn’t respectful.

She’d ask why Bucky always called him Steve or Rogers and Howard never had an answer.

“Steve please.” It’s the first time she really heard him speak, there was no sound in the stage because they’d had so little time to set it up they couldn’t even bug it.

“Ok Steve.” She sits opposite him and takes the first folder off the top of the stack. The first few are Howling Commandos, Gabe Jones, Morita, Montgomery, Happy, Pinky, Junior and Bucky. Only one is still living in an old persons home in California, Montgomery. His son and grandson became agents. The rest died two of them pretty recently. Bucky’s body was never recovered as she knows, but the Captain seemed to be shaken by it.

She tells him Bucky’s four sister are all still alive, being significantly younger than them but are spread around the globe, only one is still in America and all of them are still fairly elderly. 

She tells him about Peggy, Aunt Peggy to Toni, who is at a home not far away but is losing a battle to alzheimer's.

The she gets to Howard, his inventions mostly how he upgraded the US in times of war, the Captain doesn’t seem all that interested. “How got married in nineteen sixty three.” she continues,

“Really? Howard?” He shrugs and she has no idea what he means, while at the same time betting he wonders if he ever gave up common whore and hard liquor for marriage, which he didn’t.

“They had a son in nineteen seventy four.” 

“Really? Howard?” He must’ve realized that he repeated himself, “I mean, where is he now?”

“He died a few months after birth, he was very sick and premature.”

Toni knew about her earlier brother, who was never mentioned much but it still surprised her, she didn’t think they’d mention him but they were being very thorough.

“So Howard doesn’t have any kids?” the Captain says

“No, he had another child in nineteen eighty six, a girl.”

“Who’s still...”

“Alive? Yes. She’s taken over SI. Her name’s Antoinette, but she goes by Toni.”

“Howard gave her Stark Industries? I can’t even imagine.”

“Well no, Howard, and his wife Maria passed away in two thousand five, when she was eighteen. She inherited it when she was twenty one. She’s actually the one who found you, she kept Howard’s project alive, to find you. She’s actually her today, we could probably find her for you.”

Toni held her breath, waiting for him to decline. Why would he want to meet her anyways, what could she possibly do.

“Sure, that’d be great.” He said, smiling.

“Well, there’s only two more files left so while they get her we can finish up.”

The returned to the files, and Toni looked down at what she was wearing. A formal business dress, stilettos, she’d just come out of meeting. She looked ridiculous, and turned to Coulson who was sitting in a chair nearby going through some cards. 

“I left a change of clothes in my bag, I’m going to get it. You better not move him before I get back.”

“Dressing up for Captain America?” Coulson says amusedly,

“No, these heels hurt and my thong is riding up my ass.”

Toni could see the slight cracks in Coulson's normally neutral face, she’d almost surprised him, she’d almost made him blush or laugh or prove he was human in some way. But not quite. One day.  
She’d brought some jeans, a little ripped from working on her car, and a plain black T shirt and vans. She didn’t bring any more underwear so they thong stayed.

When she got back, the agent was repiling the papers and files, and exiting the strange room.

“You got back just in time, we nearly finished moving him.” Coulson mused, suddenly another agent popped in the door, “Agent Coulson, we’ve got a hit in New Mexico. Come see.”

And she was alone, nobody told her to enter but nobody told her not to. So she pushed the unusually heavy door open and walked into the room. Her first analysis was that it was really cold. Ironic.

The Captain looked up in surprise, he probably would have thought she was an agent if she’d stayed in the formal wear, she broke the silence, “Nice to meet you. Captain.”

“Steve is fine. Who are you?”

“Toni. Stark.” She said slowly, sitting down in front of him, his face light up in recognition

“Howard’s daughter?” He says

“Yeah. Howard’s daughter.”

“I am so sorry about your loss.” He says, leaning forward slightly, “To be honest I didn’t think he’d ever settle down.”

“Thank you, it was four years ago, and to be honest, he didn’t.”

Steve pauses for a minute, and Toni is subconsciously arguing about whether or not she should try and make conversation, or let him do it.

“Thank you for finding me.”

“Oh yeah, no prob. I was just-” she paused, she didn’t know why she kept that project alive other than spitting Howard by doing what he couldn’t, but she wasn’t about to tell him that, “doing the right thing. Of course we didn’t really expect you be alive.”

For a moment she cringed, what a thing to say. What a stupid shitty thing to say.

“Yeah it was a surprise for me too.”

The she laughed. She laughed, with Captain America, Captain “Steve is fine” America. 

“Do you have any idea how that happened by the way? You being alive, I mean. Besides the super serum, which really shouldn’t have worked that well by the way, it’s just not possible, because even if your were suspended and survive the shock of freezing, you still need air. What are the chances a channel of ice breaks right next to your nose or mouth! Like point seven million I’d guess!”

The Captain chuckles nervously, “Yeah, definitely Howard’s daughter.”

And her enthusiasm is squashed yet again, why does he keep bringing up Howard? To be fair he doesn’t know the dick head he became, but still. 

A light tap on the glass tells her she needs to leave, “Bye Captain.”

“Steve is alright, Ms. Stark.”

She walks out of the room as an agent walks in, and starts escorting her out, “I think I upset her.”

The agent doesn’t seem to care, “I’m sure you didn’t.”

“I called her Howard’s daughter.”

“Ok maybe you did a little.”

“What does that mean?”

But she doesn’t catch the end of their conversation, when the agent leads him out of the room. 

She leaves the headquarters in a faze, calling a ride home, and mulls over the day. It was a big day. Captain America is alive, found, kinda funny, but thinks of her as Howard’s daughter because of course he does. It’s like the universe found out she felt back to normal so it yelled, surprise surprise bitch.


	11. Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally post this as my third chapter, oh well
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

Shwarma is just as delicous as Toni thought it would be. Or maybe it’s the rush of adreneline of almost dying or sending a trickster packing or all of the above. She doesn’t care because it’s offically added to her take out list.

Steve forgives her. Forgive her. His words of course. She doesn’t know exactly what for, probably her attitude or behavior or lack of hustle. Oops not that last one, she was just listing off elementary school soccer coach voacab and that one accidetnyaly got thrown it. She smiled brightly, when he told her, “I forgive you too.” She lied.

The rest of the Avengers live in the tower, which used to named after her because she designed, funded and physcially built it but since four other people hauled ass for two hours now it’s everyones. Sharing is caring, but Toni couldn’t care less so she doesn’t know why she’s sharing.

Romanoff doesn’t really live there, she’s always off on missons but have a room. Or a floor to be exact.

Some people might see her giving everyone a floor an act of generosity but really she’s making it so they have no excuse for going on her floor. 

Not that she lived at the tower, she lives with Pepper in a aparment a block away. She used to anyways. Until Pepper told her she couldn’t handle her girlfriend being in constant danger. She said she was leaving, but not leaving Toni. Basically we can still be friends, but in different words.

Considering Toni was already dieing of palledium posioning, she figured she’d cut to the chase.

“You’re right. It’s not fair to you or to Stark Industies.”

“What?” Pepper asked.

“Being Iron Maiden is a full time job. I want you to be CEO of SI.”

“Toni I couldn’t-”

“You’ve been CEO for a while anyways. Might as well take the title and paycheck.”

Pepper left plus a few million dollars, minus one girlfriend. 

Toni let herself greive before selling the apartment. She didn’t even like it anyways. 

She moved into the Avengers Tower shorly afterwars because there weren’t any other SI offices nearby or in cities she’d care to live in.  
“What about the Malibu office? I heard that one’s pretty nice.” Clint mentioned the day after she moved in. Her plan of dicouraging inter floor movement had not worked.

“I’m avoiding someone in California. Are you trying to get rid of me Barton?”

“What? I would never. And you’re avoiding the whole state because of one person? Geez, what’d they do to you?”

“What’d who do to who?” Rogers asked, walking towards them

“Toni can’t visit California because she’s avoiding one person.”

“A whole state? One person? Is it some ex?”

“Yeah, please tell me what he or she did so bad you’ve basically blocked off the entirty of the east coast.”

Rogers had really been trying to acclumate to modern day, but at ‘he or she’ his face twitched, she saw it. Whatever. It’s fine. It’s. Fine.

“I’m not telling. Besides, maybe it was my fault. Maybe I embarresed myself and can never face them again.”

“I can’t tell if you’re giving hints or leading us off the scent.”

“Both. Neither.” She grinned, “By the way, isn’t this my kitchen? And don’t both you have, your own?”

The grinned, and Barton took another apple from her basket of apples.

She, despite apperences, was ready to curl up and die. She gifted Rhodey a suit very subtly so he didn’t suspect a thing. She had copies of tech plans and JARVIS’s access code for Bruce. A modified armor for Nat, heet seaking arrows for Clint, chest plates that reflect bullets for Thor ,and even a refinished sheild with a more accseible grip in the back, for Rogers. 

He walked into her lab one day, uninvited might she add, and looked at the sheild, “Is this for me?” he asked,

“No it’s for Banner.”

He looked at her confused

“Yeah. It’s for you. The grip twists with you, and pulls a little so it doesn’t whack your hand so much.”

He thanks her, even lingers for a moment watching something, probabaly behind her, before leaving.

Someone must’ve tipped off Coulson or Fury or someone that she was dieing, but whoever is was she’s pissed and greatful. It isn’t so easy to hate Howard when he technically saved her life, and because of that she can’t hate Rogers so much.

After finding the solution, and sending Vanko back to Siberan prison, she comes out of her lab for the first time for a bit. She added a communal floor because apparently everyone likes the chit chat over breakfast, and since it’s closest, she heads there for ceral.

“Oh,” Steve is standing there holding a bowl of something, “Hey Toni.”

“Hey.” She starts preparing cheerios, trying not to notice how fucking ripped he is. Does he still have to work out? Or does the serum just keep him completly jacked?

“This is so stupid.” he mutters, kind of to himself, but mostly to Toni.

“What? What’s so stupid?”

“You seem to hate me.” He says, looking up from his food, “I don’t know why.”

“I have a few reason.” She says, “So of which seem less valid now, but I don’t see how it’s stupid.”

“That’s not what’s stupid.” He puts down the bowl, “What’s stupid is that despite the fact you hate me, I still like you. A lot.”

“You?” She paused, squinting, “Like me?” She almost wants to ask if he like likes her but she’s not ready to revert to full playground mode.

“Yeah.” He shifts his weight, “Barton told me your dad used to be weird about me, or something, and that’s why you were pre-dispoded to loathing me, but I thought we got passed that and that we were friends and you come in here looking...beautiful and see me and almost turn around.”

She looks at the ground and for nearly a minute is completley silent. “I almost turned around because I saw some random figure in the hall. I can’t see anything, I’m not wearing contacts or glasses. I just didn’t want to have to talk to anyone, nothing to do with you. However I would absoluetly not mind jumping your bones or even having a ‘relationship’ if you so desire, but not right this instant because I am very tired.”  
Steve looks at her a second before saying, “You wear glasses?”

“That’s what you got out of my statement?”

“I wasn’t finished.” He leaned down and kissed her, softly, “Continue later. I’m also very tired.”


	12. Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not crack as in drugs
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

She wakes up in bed, a very muscular arm draped around her. Not a bad way to wake up. 

“Steve. I gotta go. Your arm weighs like twenty pounds I can’t lift it.” She mumbles

He laughs and presses tighter, “No no no! I got places to be, people to meet!”

“You hate people.” He mutters, 

“You are not wrong.” She’s about to give in, and have her meeting pushed when a phone rings across the hall. She doesn’t have a landline, and it’s not her stark phone ringing. It’s the burner phone she gave a very specific person to call her with in emergency ten years ago. She shoots out of bed, managing to lift Steve’s arm even,

“Hello?” She pauses, “This is she.”

“Maia Peterson has just been admitted at hospital in New York. Her parents came her because her biological mother lives her, and you’re listed as such. Can you get to New York City Children’s Hospital as quickly as possible?”

“Umm, yes, I can.”

She hangs up soon after promising to be there within the hour. She’s considering just flying her helicopter.

“Who was that?” Steve walks down the hall putting on a shirt, “What’s wrong Tones?”

She realizes tears are welling in her eyes. For a second she considers lying, but all her other relationships were just about destroyed because of it, she can’t get out of this one.

“Nobody knows this.” She says, “Ok, one person know it.”

“Tones. You can tell me anything.” He slides down to the floor next to her.

“I have a daughter.” His shock is obvious and he says nothing, “ten years ago, I gave her up. Didn’t even know her name or gender or where she went till my parents died. I looked her up. She lives in California.”

“That’s why you don’t go there?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It didn’t really come up,” She pauses wiping a runaway tear, “till now. She’s sick. She’s in New York. I think I have to give a blood transfer or something.”

“OK.” He says getting up, then helping her. “Come back. We’ll talk. I don’t want secrets, I don’t want us to crack.”

“I don’t either.” He kissed her softly and left.

She hadn’t been in NYC Children’s Center in awhile, since a ribbon cutting ceremony in the nineties.

Now she feels old.

“Ms. Stark.” A young doctor calls her after she checks in, “come with me.”

It was a simple process really, they take a little blood. Painless. It’s at the end, when the doctor tells her she’s all set to go home, and walks into the next room, smiling widely, and says, “Ok Maia!” Less painless.

Right next door was her daughter. Her only family. So she waits outside the room where she got blood drawn, till the doctor leaves. She almost doesn’t go in but is drawn to the door.

Inside is a little girl, ten years old with freckles brown eyes and hair sitting in a hospital bed.

“Who are you?” She asks when she spots Toni basically lurking.

“I’m Toni.”

“Hi, I’m Maia.”

“Hi Maia.” Toni walks closer, 

“What are you here for?”

“I’m donating blood.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

“I gotta go Maia. It was nice meeting you.”

Maia waves goodbye.  
She gets home and regrets every decision she has ever made. Why did she talk to her, why did she say stupid things? Why can’t she be normal.

“Toni?” Steve calls, “I’m in here.”

They got their own apartment only a few weeks ago and it was still unfamiliar, but more private than the tower.

“Coming!” She drops her shoes and bag by the door, walks into the kitchen. Steve is mixing something on the stove and the world news channel is on.

“So. You have a daughter.”

“Yeah.”

“With who?”

Toni is surprised, she expected questions about when, where, maybe about Maia or their relationship. She doesn’t see why this matters.

“He doesn’t know she exists so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Do you know?”

She definitely didn’t expect that one. 

“Yes. I’m very certain. It still doesn’t matter and is nobody's business.”

“Well, it’s kind of his business. And maybe mine.”

“Yours?”

“That father of my girlfriends daughter? Yeah!”

“She’s not my daughter. OK? Not really, I just gave birth to her a decade ago and haven’t had any contact up until an hour ago.”

“You talked to her?”

“She saw me and asked what I was doing, and I said I was donating blood.”

“I just think-” He was cut of by the breaking news flashing, “This just in the Sokovia Accords official signing has been bombed. Prime suspect it James Buchanan Barnes or the Winter Soldier.”


	13. This Is An Emergency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whew thats 13, I hope you realize the pain and suffering I went through for this, and drop a like or comment. It's been a thirteen day process of posting these and I look forward to hearing your reactions!
> 
> I've been trying to get in touch with user EQfan74, if you know them or have can contact them, please send them my way.

To be fair Toni knew Barnes was alive and a brainwashed assassin. Steve told her he was alive and a brainwashed assassin. She however wasn’t informed he killed her parents. She honestly didn’t hate him, she barely liked her parents. But after Steve rode the guilt trip of not telling him about her secret child and father of said secret child for almost a week, she was pissed.

My best friend murdered your parents totally trumps I’m not telling you who fathered my child. Any day of the week. Easy.

He didn’t see it that way. Still when Strange urged her to call him, she was about to when all sort of alien hell rained down and the sponge bob the musical rejects showed up. Of course Parker hitched a ride, and of course they ended up finding a gang or old pop culture obsessed aliens, and half alien.

The time they spent waiting around for Thanos to show was insane, then Quill couldn’t block his feelings for thirty fucking seconds, and got all of them dusted. Or most of them dusted. She and blue chick survived. Parker didn’t which was her fault, she dragged him into this. Into all this shit. His ashes were still staining her hands, as the alien helped her onto her aircraft.

“Why are you helping me?” Toni mumbled

“I’m trying this hero thing out.” She grouched right back

“Save yourself, this hero thing is total bullshit.” She reached over and found what looked like a first aid kit

“Are all humans as stupid and determined to die or just you.”

“Just me.”

They touch back on earth quickly, in Wakanda, where Toni kept meaning to visit after it opened up to the rest of the world, never found the time between recently attempting and failing to save the world.

None of the Avengers crumbled, but all of the newbies did, they got a call from Clint later confirming. She offered condolences to them, but didn’t look Rogers in the eyes. Bucky was dead, or gone at least. She didn’t feel a sense of satisfaction more than anger. Steve obviously thought she’d be pleased to hear the news.

It wasn’t until late the night she returned that she went through her phone, which had gone through some trauma but was salvageable, she had thirty two new messages, so she clicked on the first one.

“Hello? My mom told me to call this number in case of emergency, and both my parents just...crumbled to dust. I need help. This is an emergency. Oh this is Maia Peterson, whoever this is can you please come quick. I’m scared.”


End file.
